ATTENTION! WATCH THIS!

8 GIRLS WITHOUT BOYFRIENDS
by Courtney & Johnnie Walker
August 27-30
The Bread and Circus

TV I'm Watching

Showtime's new series Nurse Jackie premiered this Monday on TMN here in Canada. (Nevermind that it bumped The Line to 10:30. I can live with that...) Starring powerhouse Edie Falco of Sopranos fame, this shit is BANANAS. Jackie is like a way more awesome Dr. House. A nurse with a drug problem who will go to any lengths to help her patients. (In the first episode alone she forges a signature on a donor card and flushes an ear down the toilet...) Falco has got to be one of the most engaging actresses on television right now, along with Toni Colette on The United States of Tara. Falco, like Colette is completely flat-footed, in her body, and an absolute delight to watch. Stylistically it's stunning, but really I wouldn't expect anything else.

WTF

Do I even have to point out how completely horrible and evil and basically just all around terrible this marketing campaign is?
Okay so beyond the obvious fat-phobic shit about the "skinny" and the measuring tape, am I the only one who kind of thinks it kind of sounds like they're using "cow" in reference to women? Yes I realize the literal reference is to an actual (albeit hyper-"feminized") cow, but seriously, COME ON!

Check out the television commercial:



"Here's to not depriving ourselves, to confidence, and to buying into horrific ideals of the female body!"

WATCH THIS NOW. I mean it.

So I know these awesome guys who are in this awesome sketch comedy troupe Frenzy.

Check out this amazing thing they made. Stay for the bananas.

This is a picture of the Tamil protest as is passed my office window yesterday. (It's very tiny... apologies.) I'm not going to wade into the issue too much other than to echo something my dad said to me yesterday. "They have to move away from the Tamil Tigers like the Irish moved away from the IRA." I suppose he means in order to have their (very legitimate) concerns taken up by the global community? Just something to think about I guess.

So I Finally watched "Twilight"...

And MAN is that shit ridiculous.

Okay, full disclosure, there was a part of me that totally dug this movie. And would you like to know which part? The thirteen year old me that still held ridiculous expectations about romantic love, and apparently, the part that secretly wants to be Mormon. But more on that later.

In case you don't know what this story is about there's a very enlightening recap here which also lays bare all the ridiculous LDS references and also includes hilarious pictures of Melanie Griffiths and Bjork.

There has been lots and lots of discussion of the books and the movie throughout the blogosphere, especially regarding the implications of the narrative from a feminist perspective.

But this is what I would like to add to the conversation: I am thoroughly creeped out by the fact that the movie at least is totally pornography for prepubescent girls and sexually unfulfilled midwestern housewives. Because women can't be open about getting pleasure from, you know, ACTUAL SEX, it all has to be cloaked in this insane romance. The story is filled with abstinence propaganda about how it's way better to repress your desire, about how it's somehow more authentic, and even more passionate to abstain until.... until what? You decide you want to become a vampire? Until you want to have hybrid vampire babies? Because it's not socially acceptable for women to express sexual desire or arousal about actual sex, they have to pretend it's actually all about love. Or this weird creepy version of love. When really we all know it's just about boning Robert Pattinson. Which we all want to do. But oh, according to this he's just too freaked out to date you.

p.s. Holy shit I just realized I'm older than this guy. WTF. That makes me feel ill.

Jessica Valenti in the house.

Jessica Valenti has got to be one of my most favourite people. Feministing is an amazing blog and her new book "The Purity Myth" is smart, witty and important. You should read it.

And today Jessica totally did a kick ass job of representing the feminists on The Today Show:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It's too bad that none of those blathering idiots let her talk very much, because when she was allowed to open her mouth she blew them all out of the water.

Your Car as Canvas, or, You're a fucking Asshole

I saw a lot of things in the American Southwest. Among these things were lizards, casinos, coyotes, and lots of terribly offensive bumper stickers.

"Who Would Jesus Bomb?" Oh I don't know, how about someone who takes the messages of Christianity and distorts them for their own fucked up xenophobic moral axioms?

"Terrorist Hunting Permit" Right. Am I to believe you carry around a pump action shot gun in the trunk of your car just in case you see one of those pesky arabs?

Fuck me.

Here in Canada the most offensive things spotted on motor vehicles are usually slightly more benign, but just as irritating.

i.e. White Mercedes sedan in the parking lot of the Summerhill LCBO with the license plate "SPICYMUM." Yup. You're hot. You're a yummy mummy. Your poor, poor kids. Someone call Children's Aid.

You Tube video of the week! (or... my livelihood!)

So finally, this is what I've been doing with the past year and a half of my life. If you squint really hard you can see my name in the bottom right hand corner of the final title card.

Premiering March 16th on The Movie Network at 10pm. The first two episodes will also be available online beginning March 2nd.

Blog of the Week

I made a great internet discovery via Geekologie and that is "This is Why You're Fat."

This site is all at once homage and mockery of what can only be described as suicidal ventures of gastronomy. You are disgusted but you cannot look away. You want to eat it, you want to vomit. Complicated emotions my friend.

Favourites include the gravy covered pizza and the 12 bird true love roast.